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Monday, November 09, 2015

Fitness Journey & Why I Hate the Word SKINNY.

I posted at the beginning of my coaching journey with Beachbody in July. Okay, it was a bit after I started coaching, but I wrote it in July nonetheless. At that point, I weighed about 155 pounds. That was 20 pounds less than at Christmas time, and it was 10 pounds with Beachbody. I hate lost 10 inches with Beachbody & probably close to 15 in total.


I crushed through my first goal (finally) of 150 pounds & am now working towards a second, different goal. In hindsight, my first goal should NOT have been 25 pounds from the first ... definitely should have broken that up into more manageable chunks. However, I persevered, continued on, sweat, cried, yelled, and fought for those 25 pounds. I did it.

Now, I'm coaching more than I was before, fighting for my challengers to love themselves, love their bodies, love where they're at, love who they are all while fighting for myself. I have an amazing upline of over 200 men and women supporting me (and each other) in our journeys. It's seriously the coolest thing ever.

To date, with Beachbody, I have lost 17 pounds and 17 inches. I have lost 27 pounds since February 2015. I didn't do it because I hated myself - I did it because I loved myself (and for pants). See: HERE for why I started this whole journey.

Along the way I have been asked countless times "how did you do it?" "do you like it?" "How much have you lost?" I have heard many "you look so good!" "I'm proud of you"s & eventually people will ask "do you feel better?"

The coolest thing happened on Halloween. I was at my dad's house and our neighbours (B & C) came by with their kiddos. As I walked to the door, C, (who I have known my entire life, who has seen me at my worst, my best, my heaviest, and my lightest) looked at me and said, "Are you feeling better?" I was stunned. That was the first question. B & C both mentioned that I looked better, but it was not until AFTER they asked if I feel better.

You know what? I feel a million times better (I don't even know if that's an exaggeration) I don't dread when someone wants to take the stairs because I can go up a flight without getting winded, hell, I can WALK without getting winded. I sleep without waking up (partly because I gave up smoking - hell yeah & partly because of the shakeology). My clothes fit better than they ever have. I have muscle definition in places I didn't know you could get it and wasn't sure I would ever have. I look FORWARD to working out. (Combat is a great stress relief program - plus, I can kick your ass now) I smile more. My skin is 100% better & in the words of my loving chiropractor (who I have known for nearly 20 years) "[I] look less scattered." He thought I looked more ... okay with just ... me. That was a pretty amazing compliment. How cool is it that someone wanted to know all of these things, how I felt, before anything else? They asked how much I lost & how after, but their most important question was "Do you FEEL better." That, my friends, that's up there with the cool things that have happened since this journey.

More cool things about this journey? In case you didn't know, I went and got fun laser-eyes in February this year, giving up my beloved/hated glasses. (I hid behind them. Sometimes I still miss them) I went from a -8 & -8.75 to nearly 20/20 in just over 1 minute (well, that's how long the lasers were on). So, I knew this changed how I looked - and to be honest, I HATED what I looked like before when I took off my glasses (that's why I never did ... ever) so it took a while to get used to my own face in the mirror. Then, I started to work out, eat clean, and be active. The weight started falling off. Stay with me, here comes the cool part. In the last month, 2 separate people had to do double takes when I was standing in front of them. 1 of them, I have known since October - she met me at my heaviest and when I saw her exactly one year later, she looked right at me and then looked away and continued a conversation, and then figured it out. My chiropractor was the second person who said he nearly didn't recognize me. This is a man I've known for nearly 20 years. How cool is that?!

The best part about my journey? I get to help people in the same way that my coach helped me. I get to show people how to love themselves, how to keep loving themselves, how to fall in love with themselves, and how to get the body they have dreamed of. I get to see their faces when they fit into the first goal shirt or pants (I sent my photo of me in a goal shirt to Terra & often send her photos of the differences in inches & weights). I have so many people on this journey with me. Not just my upline now, but MY team, Team Tenacious. I have challengers and coaches on my team that make me love my job even more. To see their faces when they finish a challenge, to help people stay accountable for their actions, to support them, motivate them, and teach them. I have that now. It's cool to be a part of multiple different teams with Beachbody now.

I realize now that I've been just randomly writing how I feel - which is awesome. I love chatting about Beachbody & fitness now & sharing my passion with people. I also realize I haven't said why I hate the word skinny. However, the previous few backstories will help you understand.

I recently saw a friend's fitness photo about how much weight they have lost & their after photo. I am so excited for them - she really did look amazing. She looked happier (times a million by the looks of a smile), skin was better, looked healthier, looked stronger. Then, I saw that another person had written, "You look great. You're so much skinnier now." .....While you can interpret that any way you want (I even interpreted it as positive), I hate the word skinny. I don't want to be described that way for numerous reasons, including the fact that I'll never be "skinny." That word just rubs me the wrong way. I want to look strong. I want to look healthy. I want to look lean. The one and only time I think I could ever consider myself "skinny" was when I was using hard drugs, my eyes sunk back and you could only see cheekbones, and I had no shape. I wasn't healthy. I was skinny, but my Lord I wasn't healthy. I want people to inspire people to be healthy, strong, fit, and lean - I do not want people to think they need to be "skinny." I want to be an strong, ass-kicking, tank by the time I'm done my Combat program. Truly. Honestly. I want to look like I won't tip over if the wind blows too hard. I want the fact that I do squats all the time to show. I realize that the word "skinny" isn't inherently bad, but with so much shaming in general these days .... that's why I hate it. I have a really hard time with that. Throw around small, thin, & petite all you want. I don't like the word skinny. (I also don't like the word fat, but that's a different blog post.)

What do you think of the word? Is it nails to a chalkboard for you like it is to me? Is there a different word you hate more when it comes to fitness and nutrition?

Share your journey with me - I want to hear it. Your story is important. Whether you've never been through hell, you've gone there and back once, twice, or multiple times - your story matters. YOU matter. Know that.

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