Many people often comment, "any man can make a child, but it
takes someone special to be a dad." Now, after this weekend, I believe that
the same thing goes for mothers.
Firstly, my mum is
someone who happened to give birth to me. While this is probably the most
common conception of what a mother is, I certainly do not think it should be
limited to that.
This occurred to
me this weekend, when a man who is like my 2nd dad came up to me, amidst
mothers, children, and fathers and said, "Happy Mother’s Day." This
man knows me well enough to know I have not given birth to any children. (not
yet, one day though!) I reminded him that I was not in fact, "a mum."
His response was simple and stuck with me all of yesterday and it was this,
"but, you kind of are like a mum to all these kids." Side note - the
kids he was referring to were his own, my niece and nephews, and friend's kids.
It is certainly
not the first time that someone has referred to the fact that I seem to do well
with children. I revel in joy when they like me, when they are near, and when I
can be myself around them. Two weeks ago, I was fondly given the nickname
"Ovaries" as I always exclaim, "my ovaries are jumping!"
when I am around children. My mum has said that perhaps it is because I am not
guarded around children and so they see the "real me." Whatever the
reason, I have never, in my life, been wished a Happy Mother's Day.
This brings me to
the point of this all. Why are the mums that get celebrated the ones that have
just given birth or adopted children? Why is "adoption" such a narrow
term? The man that said that to me has essentially "adopted" me into
his family. I don't live with him and his family, nor do I call him dad. Yet
every father’s day, I send him a card.
Mums are
EVERYWHERE. Perhaps they are like me - they do not have any "real"
children of their own. Perhaps they immerse themselves in lives of children
they know. Perhaps they're your best friend's mum. Perhaps they have adopted
pets that they have fondly made into children. Perhaps they ARE the ones that
have given birth.
Whoever the
mothers are in your life: an adopted, biological, parents of pets or women
that are just ... There. Wish them a happy mother’s day too.
-S
