Let's Talk .... Mental Health

I learned today that it's Let's Talk Mental Health Day. To be honest, I'm not sure what this all entails, but hey, let's talk about it.

Mental health seems to be some sort of taboo subject in today's society and it really should not be. It is a serious, not to mention dangerous, thing if you suffer from it or know someone who suffers from it. Mental health problems come in all shapes and sizes and varying levels of seriousness. It can range from paranoid schizophrenia to depression to anxiety disorders to bipolar.

I'm going to be candid here - I suffer from bipolar disorder and have for most of my life. After battling more highs than lows all through school I still could not understand that even when I was "happy" it did not seem like it. There were times where I had so much "great" in my life and I just could not deal. It was affecting my school, my thoughts, my sleep, my relationships, everything. I had a huge bout of depression when my parents split up when I was 15. I was already plagued by being a ghost at school, being chubby, not having many friends, regular 15-year old girl stuff and then my parents split up. I was an ANGRY 15 year old, and I was mean. Straight up MEAN. In our house though, suffering from depression was NOT an excuse to be mean. We were kept accountable for our actions. It did not matter if you were depressed, angry, mad, whatever, if you said or did something out of line, you got called out for it THEN. Depression is not an excuse to be mean/rude/ignorant/awful.

So, skipping a few years, my parents got back together, I still struggled with depression and there was another major bout when I was in grade 12. I had a great boyfriend, pretty rad life, but couldn't pull myself out of this.

Fast forward a few more years and I was getting clean from a drug addiction (I'll explain in my next blog post) and sure as shit, I was massively depressed. I was mean, I slept 15-17 hours a night, I was miserable. THEN - I got some help. It was the first time I got help and gave it an honest shot. I learned that between the fact that I was already bipolar, plagued by large depressive episodes, AND that I did drugs, my brain chemistry was all sorts of messed up. Why should I be ashamed of that?! Are people that break their arm and have a cast ashamed of that cast??! NO! I am NOT ashamed (anymore) that my brain chemistry kind of just does its own thing and that I need to get HELP with that. It was a serious issue. (It still is)

This summer, I fell into more depression and the tell-tale bipolar swings were taking their toll on me. I tried to hide it as best as I could, but I failed miserably and my relationships were suffering big-time. I had a falling out with my best friend and we still haven't recovered. (I'm not sure we will to be totally honest) I decided to go get help again this October and it's the best decision I've made in a long time.

This is just my story on Mental Health - there's more out there and I encourage you to TALK about them. Educate people around you. Show people that there is nothing to be ashamed about.

Also - if you know someone that is suffering from depression, or any kind of serious mental health issue encourage them to get some help. If you think it is beyond your capacity to deal with it please call a professional. I can tell you from experience that the person will probably not be happy with you, but they will come around. It's better for them to be alive to hate you than dead.

If you need help right NOW, please call someone. Talk to your friend, talk to your family, hell, leave me an anonymous message and I'll do what I can to point you in the right direction. Please, just don't be shy about talking about it. Your life is so precious and there are ways to get help. Please recognize the signs and symptoms and do NOT be embarrassed about talking about it - whether it be with people on twitter, your friends, your family, or your doctor.

Let's Talk.