Mums and Mother's Day

Many people often comment, "any man can make a child, but it takes someone special to be a dad." Now, after this weekend, I believe that the same thing goes for mothers.

Firstly, my mum is someone who happened to give birth to me. While this is probably the most common conception of what a mother is, I certainly do not think it should be limited to that.

This occurred to me this weekend, when a man who is like my 2nd dad came up to me, amidst mothers, children, and fathers and said, "Happy Mother’s Day." This man knows me well enough to know I have not given birth to any children. (not yet, one day though!) I reminded him that I was not in fact, "a mum." His response was simple and stuck with me all of yesterday and it was this, "but, you kind of are like a mum to all these kids." Side note - the kids he was referring to were his own, my niece and nephews, and friend's kids.

It is certainly not the first time that someone has referred to the fact that I seem to do well with children. I revel in joy when they like me, when they are near, and when I can be myself around them. Two weeks ago, I was fondly given the nickname "Ovaries" as I always exclaim, "my ovaries are jumping!" when I am around children. My mum has said that perhaps it is because I am not guarded around children and so they see the "real me." Whatever the reason, I have never, in my life, been wished a Happy Mother's Day.

This brings me to the point of this all. Why are the mums that get celebrated the ones that have just given birth or adopted children? Why is "adoption" such a narrow term? The man that said that to me has essentially "adopted" me into his family. I don't live with him and his family, nor do I call him dad. Yet every father’s day, I send him a card.

Mums are EVERYWHERE. Perhaps they are like me - they do not have any "real" children of their own. Perhaps they immerse themselves in lives of children they know. Perhaps they're your best friend's mum. Perhaps they have adopted pets that they have fondly made into children. Perhaps they ARE the ones that have given birth.

Whoever the mothers are in your life: an adopted, biological, parents of pets or women that are just ... There. Wish them a happy mother’s day too.

-S